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ABU AYAH

PART 8

Abu Ayah [Yaqeen Employee]
Breaks His Silence

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Abu Ayah describes his heartbreaking journey through divorce and the excruciating pain of being separated from his daughters.

The Ummah consists of millions of families, and every family consists of a strong father guiding his family to what God commands and to that which He loves. Without the presence of a strong father, our Ummah will continue to decline, will become weak, and the next generation will be lost, void of guidance.

Abu Ayah - and hundreds of thousands of fathers like him - have been wronged by twisted Imams who twist the religion. Children must be protected, yet no one is raising the alarm.

God will never give victory to a people that oppress their weak and try to change our religion. It's time we call out the wrongdoers, and it's time we give victory to those who have been wronged.

⋮ family law ⋮

Family law is quite complex if one is not properly trained in it. Below is a summary to simplify the explanation.
Abu Ayah's video is ONLY focused on Fiqh Issue #2. For all other issues, he submits to the rulings, as per the sharī'ah.

1

Fiqh Issue #1: Child Custody upon Marital Separation

• Who’s the Custodian? The mother
• Is there unanimous agreement (ijmā’)? Yes
• Difference of Opinion? No, not applicable.
2

Fiqh Issue #2: Child Custody upon Mother’s Remarriage

• Who’s the Custodian? NOT the mother
• Is there unanimous agreement (ijmā’)? Yes
• Difference of Opinion? An active attempt is being made to change this so the mother can be custodian by quoting only TWO scholars (Ibn Hazm or Ibn Hanbal). However, other scholars corrected these odd opinions. It’s sufficient to say the Sahabah had a complete Ijmā' on this issue, hundreds of thousands of scholars and judges rule this way, and all Muslim-majority countries rule this way. However, this is actively changing before our very eyes due to a dangerous agenda.
3

Fiqh Issue #3: Child Custody upon Child’s Age of Discernment (at what age/event?)

• Who’s the Custodian? Differences of opinion
• Is there unanimous agreement (ijmā’)? No
• Difference of Opinion? Yes, there are legitimate differences of opinion
4

Fiqh Issue #4: Child Custody upon Child’s Age of Discernment (gender of child)

• Who’s the Custodian? Differences of opinion
• Is there unanimous agreement (ijmā’)? No
• Difference of Opinion? Yes, there are legitimate differences of opinion
5

Fiqh Issue #5: Child Custody Approved Custodians

• Who’s the Custodian? Differences of opinion
• Is there unanimous agreement (ijmā’)? No
• Difference of Opinion? Yes, there are legitimate differences of opinion

Refer to an excellent resource here: https://shamela.ws/book/11430

⋮ additional points ⋮

1

The concept of a Rabībah (stepdaughter) is specific to situations where a contender for physical custody DOES NOT exist. If we practiced what the Prophet ﷺ said, a Rabībah wouldn't even exist in this scenario for Abu Ayah, because the "stepfather" (راب) isn’t even raising his wife’s daughter from another man. Islam protects little girls from SA, and any one percent increase in the odds of abuse is enough to close the door to such things.
2

Read this fatwa where the Muftī clearly indicates this is not a normal Mahram relationship:
"However, even though the stepfather who consummates the marriage will be a Mahram of the stepdaughters, than too precaution should be exercised and a degree of Purdah should be maintained. Thus, touching the stepdaughters, remaining alone with them and travelling with them without the mother should be avoided. Furthermore, stepdaughters should dress modestly in front of their stepfathers."
https://ait.org.nz/stepfather-and-the-laws-of-parda/
3

The concept of “Ajnabi” Mahram. Read the following fatwa:
“When the mother re-marries another man who is an ajnabi (stranger) and not a mahram (of close relation) to her child, she foregoes the right of custody. However, she does not lose custody to the father. Rather, the grandmother on the mother's side (i.e. mother of the child's mother) becomes next most entitled to custody of the children.”
https://askimam.org/public/question_detail/18681
4

Abu Ayah made it clear to me that he was willing to agree to ANY of his ex-wife's female relatives to take custody of his girls, as long as no foreign men are around them. But people with diseases in their hearts badly want to control everything. Allāh is in control, and we submit to His rulings. However, now due to the various violations, he's fighting to have his daughters back under his care and protection.
5

The unanimous agreement (ijmā’) of millions of Muslim scholars is the mother loses custody upon remarriage to foreign man as discussed in the video with evidences in Arabic at timestamp 17:40. Who gets custody afterwards is a legitimate difference of opinion as Abu Ayah clearly discussed in the video at timestamp 21:00. He acknowledged the maternal grandmother and the maternal aunt are legitimate contenders for custody.
6

Any woman is capable of getting married soon after she completes her Iddah. Abu Ayah was talking about the one-month Iddah that Yaser Birjas apparently hands out like candy (at timestamp 22:01). The Jumhūr (majority of scholars) do not rule this way, but there are diseases in the hearts in order to circumvent the divorce process and have one party exit without any consequences. Abu Ayah didn’t even discuss the other things that happened to him, which are severe and warrant other videos. May Allāh protect us all from wrongdoing … Ameen!
7

There’s this common “Distract | Disqualify | Discredit” strategy. Let's please be objective and learn the religion properly so we can protect Muslim children.

⋮ the dangers of foreign stepfathers ⋮

17% (or 1 in 6) who had a stepfather as a principal figure in her childhood years, was sexually abused by him. The comparable figures for biological fathers were 2% (or 1 in 40) women.

Reference: [Russell, D. E. (1984). The prevalence and seriousness of incestuous abuse: Stepfathers vs. biological fathers. Child Abuse & Neglect, 8(1), 15-22.]

"Stepchildren in Canada, Great Britain, and the United States indeed incur greatly elevated risk of child maltreatment of various sorts, especially lethal beatings."

Reference: [Daly, M., & Wilson, M. (2001, January). An assessment of some proposed exceptions to the phenomenon of nepotistic discrimination against stepchildren. In Annales Zoologici Fennici (pp. 287-296). Finnish Zoological and Botanical Publishing Board.]

• When abusive parents have both step and genetic children, they generally spare their genetic children.
• In such families, stepchildren were exclusively targeted 9 out of 10 times in one study and in 19 of 22 in another.

Reference: [Crawford, C., & Krebs, D. (Eds.). (2008). Foundations Of Evolutionary Psychology. P. 387. Psychology Press.]

The age of menarche, or the onset of menstruation, is a predictor of several negative events in life. May God protect our daughters.
• In a study of children of twins conducted by Mendle and colleagues (2006), girls with stepfathers or who lived with unrelated adult men reached menarche earlier.
• Another study that tested both biological father absence and stepfather presence found that the latter was a better predictor of early menarche among girls who were separated from biological fathers. Specifically, Ellis and Garber (2003) found that the girl’s age when the unrelated man moved in was more important than her age when her biological father left in predicting her age of menarche.

Reference: [Mendle, J., Turkheimer, E., D'Onofrio, B. M., Lynch, S. K., Emery, R. E., Slutske, W. S., & Martin, N. G. (2006). Family structure and age at menarche: a children-of-twins approach. Developmental psychology, 42(3), 533.]
Read more here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-modern-heart/202310/stepfathers-a-mysterious-cause-of-early-menarche
Reference: [Ellis, B. J., & Garber, J. (2000). Psychosocial antecedents of variation in girls' pubertal timing: Maternal depression, stepfather presence, and marital and family stress. Child development, 71(2), 485-501.]

Stepfather PRESENCE has consistently been found to have detrimental effects on child outcomes

  • Educational attainment
    • Astone, N. M., & McLanahan, S. S. (1991). Family structure, parental practices and high school completion. American sociological review, 309-320.
    • Dawson, D. A. (1991). Family structure and children’s health and well-being: Data from the 1988 National Health Interview Survey on Child Health. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 573-584.
  • Behavioural outcomes
    • Thomson, E., Hanson, T. L., & McLanahan, S. S. (1994). Family structure and child well-being: Economic resources vs. parental behaviors. Social forces, 73(1), 221-242.
    • Dunn, J., Deater-Deckard, K., Pickering, K., O’Connor, T. G., Golding, J., & ALSPAC Study Team. (1998). Children’s adjustment and prosocial behaviour in step-, single-parent, and non-stepfamily settings: Findings from a community study. The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines, 39(8), 1083-1095.
  • Physical growth
    • Flinn, M. V., Leone, D. V., & Quinlan, R. J. (1999). Growth and fluctuating asymmetry of stepchildren. Evolution and Human Behavior, 20(6), 465-479.
    • Lawson, D. W., & Mace, R. (2010). Optimizing modern family size: trade-offs between fertility and the economic costs of reproduction. Human Nature, 21, 39-61.
  • Lower Level of Direct Maternal Investment
    • Lawson, D. W., & Mace, R. (2009). Trade-offs in modern parenting: a longitudinal study of sibling competition for parental care. Evolution and Human Behavior, 30(3), 170-183.

⋮ never let them manipulate you ⋮

Lately, a number of cowards have claimed that the matter of transferring custody after remarriage lacks unanimous agreement within our tradition (ijmā’). Instead of disseminating misinformation in private conversations, they should have the courage to address these concerns publicly.

In the Washington DC area, one Imam cited Ibn Hazm as an authority to justify breaking consensus. However, numerous scholars have cautioned against adopting Ibn Hazm’s peculiar views. For example, Ibn Hazm also suggests that a non-Mahram man seeking to propose to a woman may see her naked (i.e., her chest and the rest of her body, excluding her lower private part) WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE, in order to be encouraged to propose. If Yaser Birjas adheres to this belief and follows Ibn Hazm, then I hope he applies it to his own daughters. To the “Imam” in Washington DC, do you have any daughters?

Furthermore, they mention Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, the guardian of the Sunnah, as having multiple opinions on this matter. So which opinion do we take? Can two contradictory opinions be valid at the same time? Adherents of his own school of thought upheld the consensus and the unanimous agreement within our tradition (ijmā’).

Fiqh scholars who came before and after these two scholars consistently upheld the ijmā’ on this issue and ignored these opinions.

ALL four recognized schools of thought on Islamic Fiqh have the same ruling: if a Muslim mother remarries a foreign man, her children from another man MUST BE TRANSFERRED to another custodian to ensure their protection.

How can it be that the biological father is separated from his children and Islamically mandated to financially provide for them in a separation, while simultaneously permitting a foreign man to have unrestricted access to his children? This constitutes a clear violation of Islamic rights.

Indeed, diseases reside within hearts. Interestingly, the same Imams who assert there is a difference of opinion are often accused of maintaining secret second marriages. Of course they will claim such lies because they take advantage of emotionally vulnerable and recently divorced women. Oh, the hypocrisy!

One would assume that following the teachings of our Prophet ﷺ should suffice. However, even non-Muslims are acknowledging the potential dangers of having foreign stepfathers around young children. Perhaps it’s time to consider the insights of science. After all, the risk of facing assault by a stepfather is 40 times greater than that by a biological father…

Did you know that the mere presence of an unrelated male (stepfather) can trigger early onset puberty in a young girl? “The introduction of an unrelated adult man to the living space can be stressful, which can result in weight gain and body fat, ultimately leading to early menarche” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-modern-heart/202310/stepfathers-a-mysterious-cause-of-early-menarche).

To the God-fearing Imams, students of knowledge, and upright Muslims, thank you all for reaching out to me and providing your support.

To the timid Imams who fear losing their jobs from the demonic agenda, we will never be silenced when it comes to protecting our young children from abuse.